ADDICTIONS IN OUR SOCIETY

Secret Society of Women Guest Blog Post

December 28, 2010
Posted: 2:31 PM PT

By Dr. Mike Dow

In today's culture, we're finally talking about all the forms of addiction to all of the different drugs of choice: from alcohol to sex to food. Just a few decades ago, the idea of addiction as a disease to be treated with the same compassion as we would treat cancer was not a widely-held belief. Yet, both have genetic and environmental components. Today, there is finally a mainstream understanding of how to successfully and compassionately treat addiction.

It helps to cut through some of the shame that prevents people from coming forward and getting the help they need. As they say in 12-step programs: "You're as sick as your secrets." Thus, anything that helps people to be honest is the first step to becoming less sick. This is also the reason I'm a supporter of addiction portrayed in the media - such as on TLC's shows My Strange Addiction and Freaky Eaters (which I co-host). Also, when it comes to diseases like cancer or addiction, people need all the compassion and support they can get. They also need to know that they're not alone, which helps others to come forward.

I've treated an increasing number of women in the past few years, which bucks the trends of the past decades where men were diagnosed with addiction at double the rate of women. Why is this? First, I think it has something to do with the fact that all of us - men and women alike - are living more stressful lives. We all are trying to balance work, family, social, and spiritual lives. Raising kids in blended families and single parent households (like the one I grew up in) is increasingly difficult. The cost of living has gone up while the average household income has gone down.

With that stress comes more self-medication. The most socially acceptable drug of choice - food - is much more available in greater and more harmful quantities than it was in decades past. And with 2/3 of our country overweight, there are clearly many people who don't know how to overcome this addictive behavior - even though most of them know it's dangerous. Whereas men have traditionally partaken in illegal drugs and gambling, addiction to socially acceptable drugs of choice like food is equal opportunity. When the consequences of your addiction finally confront you, it's an eye-opener to say the least. I can say my dad's second open-heart surgery after his second major heart attack this Thanksgiving was not the best holiday I've had.

Based on my own life experience, I know that coming to terms with what we all choose to do with our daily lives is the healthy thing to do. Let's face it: we all deny, rationalize, and avoid the things that really bother, sadden, or scare us - whether that thing is our credit card debt, our weight, or our relationships. And with all of these forms of self-medication comes so much shame, heartbreak, and hopelessness.

With the new year, I hope that the lesson we can take away is to allow any shame or sadness present in our lives to be information that says: "I need to change something in my life." Isn't that the reason feelings are there in the first place? The trick is to not get paralyzed by them. Look at them and say, "What is this telling me about how the life I want for myself?" Tell me about the life you want to create for yourself. And more importantly, what do you know you need to do to get there?